This week has been a week of emotional ups and downs.
If the earth had collected all of my tears throughout this week, a new ocean would have been created.
That may sound dramatic and I am WELL aware that there are MUCH worse things happening in the world around me today, AND I will still honor my feelings as I write to you.
My 4th grade daughter has been at the same amazing school since Kindergarten. They offer all of the things she knows and loves including friends, gardening, creative projects, and music.
Unfortunately, this year, things have changed.
As she entered the money-van (as my dear friend, Dorine calls it) during school pick-ups last Monday, she stated, “Mommy, I want to be moved to another class. I’m not learning anything and I want to learn.”
This was quite a shock to me, coming from a child who didn’t care for homework last year and believed that math was “too hard” for her.
I already suspected that there was very little learning going on and by this point, I had already contacted her kind, loving, and calm teachers about my concerns.
It was time for the next step…
I contacted the principal and requested that may daughter be transferred to another class or back to her old teacher (they have mixed grades).
In the end and after much communication, I was told that the classes were maxed out and her hands were tied.
My daughter and I had two choices to make at this point:
I could leave her in this class and possibly attempt to get tutoring so she did not fall behind (this was NOT an option at this point, really), or I could move her to a school that would support her in academics and emotional development.
Now, this may not seem like a big deal to some, but I pride myself in seeing the essence of each of my children, and choosing their schools accordingly.
This is the very reason each of my children are at 3 separate schools and we commute a few hours per day.
This may not be ideal for ME, but seeing my children thrive at school as whole beings means so much to me.
Initially, I felt devastated at the thought of moving my daughter to a brand new school.
I felt as if I were letting her down…as if I were failing her.
Not only was her foundation about to be pulled out from under her, but I would have to place her in a school that may or may not be the perfect fit for HER.
I’m aware that this was MY stuff coming up as well. I was an Air Force brat and although I loved living in multiple countries, as I got older, it became harder and harder to move from school to school and country to country. I constantly have to remind myself that my daughter has her OWN path and she is NOT me!
Also, when I was an overwhelmed and super anxious stay-at-home mom with three kids and a workaholic husband, I dreamed of the day that they’d all be in school 5 days per week! I had big big plans for my time and myself!
Granted, she is the only one in school 5 days per week while my son is in elementary school 3 days per week and my other daughter is preschool 3 days per week as well…a woman can dream, can’t she??
All I kept thinking was, “How am I going to survive with my kids home two extra days per week? How will I stimulate my daughter’s desire for social interaction and learning?
I’m not a good teacher!
She has NO interest in homeschooling with me and I have no interest in homeschooling anyone!”
My head was spinning and I felt so ungrounded.
GETTING GROUNDED AND MAKING A DECISION
Last Thursday, I decided that I needed to move my body and get outside to enjoy the beauty in nature.
I called one of my buddies, Sara, at the last minute, and we went on an amazing walk where I was able to connect with my dear friend, observe the beauty in nature, and clear my head all at the same time.
If you are into animal medicine, the extra bonus was finding a monarch butterfly and locust exoskeleton!
Last Friday, when I woke up, I felt like a truck had run over me, but I had no more tears to cry and I felt incredibly grounded.
After one week of crying my eyes out, allowing myself to truly feel, conversing with the teachers, the principal, my husband, my daughter, and the teachers at my son’s school, it was settled…my daughter will attend my son’s small community school 3 days per week.
MANIFESTATION TRULY WORKS SO BE CAREFUL!
WHAT YOU WISH FOR MAY COME TRUE…
At that point, I realized that I manifested this entire situation (we ALL create our own realities!).
Last year, when my daughter decided she wanted to make a change and try another class with new teachers, I let her know that the grass isn’t always greener and I was willing to allow her to make this decision.
At the beginning of this summer, I began to focus on creating more spaciousness, flow, and ease in my life.
I realized that we could not fill that LAST spot at my son’s school and we just couldn’t figure out why. Our teacher was clear that she wanted an older student in that spot as well (which can be hard to come by!).
One of my besties, Sharon, reminded me that when I visited her in CO—and as I watched the ease she felt in her life with her boys at the same school—I stated, on several occasions, “I wonder what that would be like! I would love to have my children at the same school. Sigh.”
And, here we are.
SHIFTING MY ATTITUDE + PERCEPTION: IMAGINING THE POSSIBILITIES
Once I moved through my feelings, used my grounding tools, cleared my head, made a decision, and chose to KNOW that no matter what happened, it would be in her highest good, then I began to see the possibilities of our new life together:
- On Fridays, I can take my kids on meaningful field trips.
- I can put my kids in classes that they’ve been dying to take, but we haven’t had the “time” to take due to our long commute.
- We can leave on Thursday night to take a 4 day mini-vacation without missing school!
- We can spend MORE time together as a family while they are young and precious.
- We can connect, connect, connect.
- We can relax and have lazy days together.
- Ava will not only “catch up” in school, but I know she will excel in this environment, as my son has, with teachers who truly LOVE their students and are invested in the whole child and in their future!
- We will only have a 10 minute commute to the nearest school. AHHH!! I cannot even imagine this yet!
- When my husband is out of town, I won’t have a 2 hour commute in the mornings, dragging the kids all over town.
- We will get to stay after school to play at my son’s school with his classmates instead of rushing out each day to pick up his sister.
- I can ground into the community at his (and now her) school and I can finally create meaningful relationships with the parents there—instead of being the rushing mom.
- We can have more playdates!
In other words, the possibilities are endless.
The sky is the limit.
We get to continue to create a life that keeps us connected and one that works for ALL of us.
It will be an adjustment for her (and me!), but she has such a mature and amazing attitude about it.
The moral of this story is that even when you don’t feel like you have the power to make the decision that you believe is best, no matter what the situation, YOU get to choose how you perceive it and what action to take.
So, the next time you feel powerless and you don’t get to make THE decision that you yearn to make, remember that you may not be able to see it RIGHT NOW, but there is a reason for everything.
The Universe, Spirit, God, or Goddess always holds the highest of intentions for you and has your best interests at heart.
NOW, tell ME…what do you do to move from feeling powerless to empowered?
I’d love to hear your stories!