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A PDF document chock-full of helpful parenting tips and information for children, tweens and teens!

Little Girls Should Be Seen and Not Heard…

As a young girl, my mom was given a framed picture with a little girl in a cute dress shyly looking down.

The words scripted on it said, “Little girls should be seen and not heard.”

When I got a bit older, my mom gifted that same picture to me.

I thought it was cool having something from her past.

I don’t know a lot about her childhood and this made me feel special and closer to her in some way.

For years, as a single woman, I had it hanging in my home, not thinking much about it…until I had my firstborn daughter.

All of the sudden, reading the words on that picture both enraged and saddened me.

Is this the message that she grew up hearing from the many generations before her?

Is this the message I received as a result?

I took the picture down and decided that my daughter would never hear that message from me or anyone else.

In that moment, I decided that I would pass a new set of beliefs to my daughter, a new legacy, if you will…

My daughter (now daughters + son) will hear these words instead:

1.  Your thoughts, feelings, and ideas are always worth speaking and being heard. I want to hear them.
2.  You ARE enough.
3.  All of the answers lie within you. Trust yourself.
4.  You will always be seen, heard, acknowledged, and believed by me.
5.  You think of the most brilliant ideas and solutions.
6.  You are a powerful and infinite being.
7.  You are and always will be unconditionally loved and respected by me.
8.  Your sensitivity and creativity are two of your greatest gifts. Hang on to both.
9.  As long as you believe in yourself, you can do ANYTHING.
10. You deserve support. Receiving help is just as important as giving to others.

Words ARE powerful (if you don’t believe me, take the next 5 minutes and listen to YOUR self-talk and notice how these words make you feel).

What we say to ourselves and our children have meaning and deeply impact us and them.

The belief that little girls should be seen and not heard was an unconscious belief that was passed from generation to generation in many families throughout history.

This is one belief I’ve put a stop to for all of the young girls that will follow me, my daughters, and their daughters.

We are in a time where our girls are being bombarded with many mixed messages from the media, friends, and boys.

As a result, the number of girls with low self-esteem, eating disorders, and self-hatred is on the rise in epidemic proportions.
Too many young girls are suffering as a result.

Maybe you were unconsciously made to believe some pretty horrible things about yourself as well.
If so, it’s time to create a new way of looking at yourself in the world, if not for you, then for your daughter.

Today, is time for you to create a new legacy for your daughter, to let her know that she IS valued and can positively impact the world in ways that she cannot even begin to imagine.

Your daughter needs your help. She needs to be acknowledged by you.

You can make all of the difference in her life and in yours.
You have the power to create the change you want to see in your family and in the world, but it all starts with YOU.

Now tell me…what’s YOUR NEW legacy? What will YOU choose to pass down to your daughter starting today?

Please post your comment below. I always love to hear from you!

xx
Dawn

4 Responses to Little Girls Should Be Seen and Not Heard…

  1. Iris says:

    LOVE your list of 10 things! I’m slowly formulating similar affirmations for me and my family. I realise that a lot of things I disagree with when it comes to how I was parented or seeing other types of parenting that don’t resonate with me, is because it comes from a place of unconscious or subconscious parenting, and also being results driven rather than process driven. One of the things that really drives me nuts is the way people talk to kids as if they’re somehow less worthy or deserving of respect than adults.

  2. dawnkgibson says:

    Thank you, Iris! YES! Exactly. I couldn’t agree more! I have amazing parents but this patterning is from generations and generations and generations. We truly do become more conscious each generation. I know my parents were, but would not think much of that picture or the message of it. It’s just a picture after all right? 😉

    Thank you for your kind words and for being a conscious mom on this journey with me! Your children will thank you!

  3. Diane says:

    Dawn such a timely message! It has touched me at my core. I am coming to the place where I am beginning to grasp how deeply imbedded this lie is in our family. It not only impacted the women but I see that it impacted my sons as well as my daughter.

    I have been crippled severely by this lie. I speak about it but have heretofore seen myself as powerless to defeat it’s far reaching impact in my life. I am taking your affirmations and adapting them for me. I want these affirmations to rework the inner fabric of my belief system. I am tired of this lie manipulating and controlling me. It is time to break free and live the life God has planned for me.

    Thank you for your timely words! Blessings to you!

    • dawnkgibson says:

      Diane,
      Thank you fo your response. This post was written quite awhile ago, but I recently wrote a post related to this in my FB group, the Sacred Wisdom Women’s Circle. I will post below. This societal view has impacted and continues to impact everyone, including our boys! I’m so happy the affirmations are there to help you as well!

      {LITTLE GIRLS SHOULD BE SEEN AND NOT HEARD.}
      As a child, my mom received a gift. It was a picture of a little girl with a bow in her hair and a pretty dress on looking down shyly. On the framed picture it said, “Little girls should be seen and not heard.”
      Although this was boldly printed on a picture for me to see, this message usually goes unnoticed.

      THIS unseen message is the one that our mothers, grandmothers, great grandmothers, etc…received as they grew. THIS is the message that has been passed down from generation to generation and is STILL going strong!
      Little girls should be seen and not heard. Women should be seen and not heard.

      How many of you felt ignored, misunderstood, or “too” this and to “too” that while growing up? How many of you never felt like enough? How many of you lacked confidence, self-love, and self-compassion?
      How many of you LONGED to be seen AND heard as a child–and STILL do?

      So many of us were squashed as children. We didn’t have a voice. We were ignored or labeled.
      We were told STORIES about WHO we were that became OUR truths, rather than being guided according to who we already were when we were born.
      We believed them. We stopped trusting our inner voices and our own intuition. We limited ourselves based on what “they” though. We stayed small so we wouldn’t outshine the others in our lives. We feared being judged so we took the safe route. We became disconnected from our beautiful and incredible bodies and the truth of who we are. We became uncomfortable in the skin we are in.

      Most women STILL struggle with these things into adulthood…
      I’m not enough. I hate my body. I’m too bossy. I’m too shy. I’m not smart enough. I’m too fat. I suck as a mom. I will never be as successful as her. I’m too anxious. I’m too depressed. I will never make any money. The list goes on and on and on.
      I wasn’t immune to these messages, either. I struggled with an eating disorder for YEARS and looked to men for my self-esteem. I carried a lot of shame, guilt, and sadness growing up even though my parents had a strong marriage, were positive, and present most of the time!
      ALL humans want to be seen AND heard on some level. That goes for you, your partner, your parents, and your children (if you’re a mom). The messages we receive from our parents, teachers, the media, and society as a whole are powerful. They are stored within the cells of our bodies as they are passed down from generation to generation.

      The beauty is that WE HAVE THE POWER TO HEAL THE PAST! Even the childhood wounds sitting within our bodies can be transmuted! I know, because that’s how I’ve healed and how I help others.
      You have the power to shift this paradigm, but it starts with YOU and your courage to heal. When you heal, you impact the girls in your life—whether or not they are your daughters—and society as a whole.

      Until we decide to heal our pasts, become more confident, KNOW we are enough as we are, truly love ourselves, and claim our DIVINE FEMININE POWER, nothing will really change.
      My mom gifted that picture to me when I was young and I loved it–until I had a daughter. I left it at her house when I moved out and she offered it to me later on.
      I read it with new eyes and told her that I didn’t want my daughter to be raised with that message on our walls.
      I wanted to do everything I could to instill confidence, courage, and magic within her! So far I’m succeeding! It’s been tough with the messages out there, but we are working through it.

      This is an invitation for YOU to look deeply within to see how this message has impacted you and your life.
      Where are you staying quiet when you really want to speak out? Who isn’t hearing you? How are you staying small and dimming your light? Now, take the steps to change it!

      Of course this is truly a journey and we are in a constant state of change, but I invite you to start somewhere today.
      Much love to you!

      Dawn

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